As a counselor, I often get asked, usually after one person has been deeply hurt by another person, “How can I know for sure if I can trust them again?” This is a great question—and a wise one—which, fortunately, comes with a lot of helpful answers. In fact, this is so important that our wellbeing and the quality of our relationships—and any possible reconciliation—depend on knowing and living according to the right answers. Therefore, with so much at stake, we should be relatively thorough in Continue Reading
Understanding Forgiveness
So much of our lives and relationships depend on how accurately we understand forgiveness and trust—and how they relate to each other. Many people make the mistake of immediately trusting those they forgive, which often leads to a great deal of pain and confusion about forgiveness, love, and Christianity in general. Just because you forgive someone does not mean trust should be immediately restored. On the other hand, many people mistakenly refuse to forgive when they realize they cannot Continue Reading
Forgiveness And Trust
FORGIVENESS DOES NOT EQUAL TRUST | Forgiveness has nothing to do with what a person deserves. Which is what grace, mercy, and forgiveness are all about. None of us deserve these things. Trust, on the other hand, has a great deal to do with what a person deserves (e.g., “worthy” of trust). Perhaps that is why we have the word “trustworthy,” but there is no such word as “forgiveworthy.” --from Mark's new book on Forgiveness & Trust (coming soon!) Continue Reading
Reconciliation
8 Types of Reconciliation We often think in “binary” terms when it comes to reconciliation—that a relationship is either reconciled - or not. While it isn’t wrong to think that way at times, it is also important to understand that any reconciliation attempt can have many potential destinations. Just as an unclear or confusing dating relationship might need a “DTR” (Define The Relationship) talk, there can also be great benefit from a thorough and accurate definition and understanding of the Continue Reading