As a counselor, I often get asked, usually after one person has been deeply hurt by another person, “How can I know for sure if I can trust them again?” This is a great question—and a wise one—which, fortunately, comes with a lot of helpful answers. In fact, this is so important that our wellbeing and the quality of our relationships—and any possible reconciliation—depend on knowing and living according to the right answers. Therefore, with so much at stake, we should be relatively thorough in Continue Reading
One Last Try: Marriage Counseling
THE END OF OUR MARRIAGE? After several years of unhealthy communication, harmful coping, growing resentment and hopelessness, and so much more, our marriage seemed to be over. Pop-psychology and some religious leaders affirmed that it likely was over, that too much damage had been done. At the same time we were continuously told to “trust the process” and “give it time”—and that involuntary separation from each other without guidance could be healthy, even in parental alienation with our Continue Reading
Exposed: The Myth of Chemical Imbalance
Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them. (Ephesians 5:6-7) LIFE CHANGING NEWS In a time of nonstop bad news, here's some great news. And we aren't just talking about a tiny glimmer of hope, or a slight silver lining. It is actually astronomical, on many different levels. This new information (which isn’t really new) has the potential to profoundly change the lives of millions of Continue Reading
Understanding Perfectionism
Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. (Galatians 5:1) Whoever first said, “Life is hard … and then you die” must have been a perfectionist (or a pessimist, or both). Yes, life can be exceedingly difficult, but—as a former(ish) perfectionist, and after decades of counseling perfectionists—I can attest that perfectionism is almost assuredly the hardest way of life. To put it another way, perfectionism is Continue Reading