Battling Fear and Anxiety

For as long as I can remember, my life was marked by an off-and-on battle with fear and anxiety.

Many of these worries centered around not measuring up – either to God or to other people. And these worries led to intense thoughts of shame and condemnation.

Throughout this whole journey, I had grown up in the Church. I called myself a Christ follower. I could recite to you verses like Ephesians 2:8-9: “for by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” But as much as I knew these words and as hard as I tried, I was not living them. And so, I sat in the bondage of one anxious moment to the next, wondering if I would ever experience freedom.

I looked to a number of things to find relief. In my adult years, I tried therapy off and on – both from secular and Christian backgrounds. I also tried medication, and just about anything in my own strength to muster my way through my situations. Just before learning about Biblical counseling through Hope For Life, my latest anxiety battle centered around something I had long dreamed of – becoming a mom someday. I had felt unworthy of becoming a mom because I was concerned about not being a “good enough” mother, making mistakes, and my general struggles with anxiety – so much so, that I had been paralyzed at the idea of having children.

Coming to Hope For Life, I found true hope from my first visit. I found counsel that was anchored in God’s Word.

For so long, I had overlooked the power found in Scripture to address these struggles. I began to learn about the false mindsets I had grown accustomed to living under – lies about my value being rooted in my performance in front of God and other people. God’s Word came alive in new ways, and I began to see with fresh eyes His story of grace spilling all over its pages. I began to understand not just with my head, but with my heart too, that I did not need to earn God’s love and acceptance; Christ had died to do just that. Day by day, the things that used to define me – things like being “good enough,” doing things “just right” and having approval from others – began to carry less weight. And instead, I was growing more secure each day in the truth about what God’s Word said about me – that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), His daughter (1 John 3:2), righteous in God’s eyes (Romans 4:5) – all because of Christ.

One of my favorite verses that I clung to – and still find so much hope in today – is from 2 Corinthians 3:4-5:

Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.

I am so thankful for the truths spoken through these words. My acceptance before God does not depend on what I do or don’t do. Rather, I can rest confidently in what Christ has already done to set captives – like me – free.

And about the struggle of one day becoming a mom – God did a mighty work in my heart to free me of my fears of being a “good enough mom” and rather trust in His truths, His good and perfect gifts and timing. My husband and I welcomed a daughter into our family earlier this year.

I am immensely thankful for Hope for Life. This ministry has transformed my life, retooling my heart and mind to see the truths of God’s good and perfect character and who I am in light of Christ. I am eternally grateful for how the Lord is using this ministry in our community.